The Annual Conference
by Scintillating Golden Leaves
Summary: Evamy VS Amian. Who will triumph?


**Title:** Attack of the Fangirls ;;Year One;;  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Evamy VS Amian. Who will triumph?  
><strong>Character (s):<strong> Amy/Ian/Evan  
><strong>Rating:<strong> K  
><strong>Genre:<strong> Humor  
><strong>Fandom:<strong>39 Clues

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><p>Nellie cleared her throat as loud as she could and banged her enormous mallet on the glass table. It cracked but she took no notice of that. "Order! Order!" she shouted. These girls! They were worst than warring Cahills!<p>

A wave of silence instantly rippled across the room as the audience obediently ceased their chattering to listen to what the mighty Nellie had to say. Most were gazing at her in awe.

Nellie shot them a stern look and hoped her next statement would not set them off again. "I know that Ian's not here yet but we're already behind schedule. Let's begin the annual debate!"

Her glare had no effect whatsoever; the crowd shrieked at the top of their lungs. Nellie could swear they were inhuman for a few seconds. She sighed. Oh well.

"Guys! Don't you want to hear this year's topic?" She yelled over their screams. Anyone would have thought it was impossible to control them but with a little help from a bullhorn, she managed. When they finally quieted down, she paused for dramatic effect. "Evamy VS Amian!"

The girls exploded into shouts of either _Ev-a-my!_ or _Aaaaaaaaaaamiaaaaaaan!_

"Wait, what?" Amy called out indignantly from the seat beside Nellie. "I did not approve of this!"

"Yeah, but Dan did and that's all we needed."

She turned her glare on him. "Dan! You dweeb!"

He tried his best to look insignificant and invisible in his seat, and to keep the maniacal grin off his face. "I thought it would be funny?"

She glowered.

And then like the sun breaking out on a stormy afternoon, she smiled. "You're right."

Dan wasn't feeling so sure of himself any more.

"Yes," she said lightly. "It'll be hilarious next year when we discuss the relationship between you, _Daniel, _and Natalie." She turned brightly to Nellie. "Won't it?"

She was trying not to fidget. "Uh. Sure, kiddo."

It was satisfying to watch Dan's pale face slowly turn into a sickening shade of green. "No, Amy, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it. It was Saladin's idea."

"But you and Natalie are so cute!" Amy beamed. "We'll have so much fun making up little nicknames for your children. Oh, do you have a preference of what color roses Natalie's wedding bouquet will be? Because we can't have the groom upset with it. I was thinking red but if you want something else-"

He lurched over. "Wedding? Children? _Roses? _I have to go to the washroom." He sprang up and left as fast as his feet could carry him.

Evan, who was sitting next to her, sighed. "Who thought of this idea?"

"I did."

"Nellie!"

"Hey," Nellie muttered defensively, "the general public deserves to know what's going on between you three." She turned back to the screaming girls. "Order! The debate will now start. Since Ian is not here, Evan will have to start with a thesis sentence." She glanced at him expectantly.

"Hey! I'm not ready for this- wait, is the mike on-? ...Oh. Erm. Sorry. Okay guys so, um, I may be dating Ames in the series but I am not going out with her behind the scenes."

Immediately, roars of both protests and approvals were let out.

"Impossible!" A girl's shrill voice stood out from the rest. "Evan and Amy belong together! "

"In your dreams!" A low and rumbling voice countered. "Amian _forevaaaaaaaaaaaaaah_!"

"Then how do you explain the _obvious _denial of feelings both Amy and Evan have for each other?"

"Wha-" Amy spluttered.

"There is no feelings! It's all in your head!" another called out.

"Thank you!" Amy said gratefully.

"Because," she continued, "Amy loves Ian!"

"Hey!" Amy blushed. "I don't! He's just a friend!"

"You hear that? She doesn't like Ian! Which means she likes Evan!"

"I don't like him either!"

"Yeah guys. Seriously, chill. We're also just friends," Evan added.

They paid no attention to him.

"You idiots! Evan is so boring! Why would she like him?"

"Hey!" Evan sounded hurt.

"Ian left her in a cave to die, stupid!"

"Ian and Amy _kissed_, moron!"

"And then he backstabbed her! And do you need any more evidence of Amy and Evan's relationship when it's all in the book? It's stated explicitly in The Medusa Plot that she was dating Evan! What more do you need?"

"Should I leave?"

Amy froze at the newcomers voice. Slowly, her eyes travelled to the door, as did a hundred others. A young man was leaning on the door's frame in a casual way, wearing baggy jeans and a fitted hat. Amy suppressed a groan.

"Here it comes," she muttered to Nellie.

The clock ticked for three seconds and-

_"! It's Ian!"_

A mob of girls trying to get their hands on Ian to either kill him for 'interfering' with Evamy, hook him up with Amy or kiss him. A typical day in the life of Ian Kabra.

Amy was ready to slam her head on the already-maimed table. "Remind me why we hold these conferences every year."

"Um, excuse me!"

"Oh no," Amy whispered.

"Why are you guys trying to kill the Kabra?"

"That dweeb," she moaned.

"I mean, he was a bad guy but it's just a book, guys."

"That moronic blockhead! Dan!" she called. "Get back up here or you're-"

And as it happens in all cliché stories, it happened here- it was too late. Dan had been taken by the fangirls.

"Wha-! What is wrong with you animals!" Being the smart little brother he was, he immediately solved the situation. "Get back! I have real ninja powers! I'm warning you!"

Ian eyed him warily, but adopted a similar stance to Dan's ninja one. "Whatever he said."

There was a five second pause as every girl in the room took in how dangerous the two boys were.

Then-

"Ian's dressed in casual clothing!" And the assault resumed.

"How dare you get in the way of Amy and Evan!"

"I love you! I _loooooooove_ you!"

"How could you let Amy date that stupid nerd?"

Amy blinked. The last statement made no sense whatsoever. Who had ever heard of a nerd that was stupid? Either way, that was going a little too far. She understood that half of these _rabid inhuman organisms _shipped her with Ian but that really gave them no right to insult Evan.

She stood up and took a deep and relaxing breath. Evan shot her a glance that clearly begged her to sit back down but she only nodded in assurance.

"IAN HAS A GIRLFRIEND!"

Slowly, their eyes traveled towards Amy and they released their iron grip on Ian and Dan.

"AND IT'S NOT ME!"

There were tiny shrieks of _yes! _and low and negative moans before Amy cut them off.

"EVAN HAS A GIRLFRIEND! AND IT'S NOT ME! I CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH A BOYFRIEND!"

"Why are you shouting?" asked Dan, rubbing his knee and wincing.

Amy did not heed what he said. Instead, she climbed down from the stage and cautiously crept around the fangirls. Once reaching the boys, she hauled them roughly to their feet and dragged them back to their seats.

The audience was about to break out either sobbing, screaming or in hives. Amy held out her hand authoritatively before they could do either.

"Don't worry guys! Because even though I'm not dating either of them, that doesn't mean Dan's not dating Natalie!"

...

"_WHAT?_"

They had erupted once again, screaming and arguing amongst themselves.

"No way! Dan and Reagan! Dan and Reagan!"

"Yes! I knew it! I told all my friends but they would never believe me! Natalie and Hamilton Holt, they said-"

Amy leaned down. "It's true," she said, whispering loudly. "Don't tell anyone but I caught them holding hands in the park, just last week. They've been secretly seeing each other."

"Are you nuts?" Dan was chromatically turning several shades of pink and red. "That was because she wanted to make this boy jealous! Me and her-" he shivered, unable to finish the thought.

Amy only rolled her eyes. "So he says."

Nellie coughed loudly. "Order!" she was once again reverted to shouting. "We are getting off topic!"

"Yes!" Dan cried. "We are!"

"But since we've already settles the issue of Amian VS Evamy, I guess that's okay."

"Nellie!" Dan yelled.

Amy stepped up once again. "Argue amongst yourselves!"

Ian glanced at her, amusement apparent in his features. "You are evil, did you know that?"

She shrugged as she took a seat next to him. "The book doesn't exactly portray us properly."

He chuckled and spun his hat on his pinky. "True that."

Leaning against her seat, Amy watched as the fangirls heatedly debated, satisfied.

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><p><strong>AN: If you hadn't noticed, this takes place in a universe where the 39 Clues characters are just actors. This is why Ian was wearing baggy jeans and Amy was able to take control of the situation more easily. I wouldn't call it an AU exactly, but somewhere close to it.**

**Also, I do not hate Amian or Evamy. I actually like Amian though I can't say I'm a big fan of Evamy.**

**And don't take offense to anything the fangirls did. I'm sure none of you are like this, it was just a funny little thing I thought up. I wasn't trying to portray anyone on the forum.**

**DISCLAIMER: I got the idea off of an iCarly episode.**


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